Coffee break

Best mates can be ace but just as they enlighten you with joy and understanding, they can also ruin everything. Well, perhaps not everything, but certainly coffee. The simple, if overpriced, act of going out for a delicious latte has been ruined because, to be honest with you, lattes are a bit shit, although I only realised this when NZ-living KT dragged me* to Flat White on Soho's Berwick Street and made me sup on an actual flat white. With one taste, coffee imbibing would never be the same again, and I would like to thank our antipodean cousins for caring enough about the bean to conjure such delicious alchemy as to reveal Starbucks to be peddlers of coffee-esque cordial.
Not long after this epiphany, I discovered Monmouth Coffee, the beautiful purveyor of delicious coffee in both Covent Garden and in the heart of London's food mecca, Borough Market,

It's where the beautiful and caffeine-bereft go to redress the balance, 

 

...to share stylish thoughts and titter knowingly at hidden meanings in highbrow text.

But luckily, they let plebs like me in too.

Sadly, I thought that a decent coffee was the preserve of the black-lunged folk of our capital city, but the good word seems to have infiltrated the shires too and the God of Coffee has bestowed His Magical Elixir a little closer to my home, at least. Behold - The Black Dog Cafe:

Apologies for the rubbish pics: I was using my new phone and hadn't quite got to grips with it. However, what I can say is that the coffee was delicious: they use Monmouth beans so it's a quality cup of deliciousness. The staff are uber friendly and if you're feeeling peckish, they have a good selection of fodder (menus available on their website.)

Ok, so they haven't embraced latte art, but the taste is delicious, wholesome and invigorating. It's a small independent cafe in an area of Tunbridge Wells that is stoically independent, slightly bohemian and without the cloud of snobbery that hampers so much of what is wonderful in that town, so I urge you to go to keep that spirit alive. The coffee is wonderful: why would you not go?!

Can I just state that my coffee snobbery hasn't extended to home...yet, although I do prefer a freshly brewed cuppa as opposed to instant...


However, I certainly wouldn't judge a friend who gave me a cup of instant unfavourably: drinking at home and drinking out are different experiences. Granted, they don't need to be, thanks to readily-available coffee machines, mail-order beans and youtube instructionals. But coffee in a friend's kitchen, good banter and a welcoming face can elevate even the shoddiest instant cuppa into something celebratory, the oil to grease the wheels of conversation if it should be needed. As long as there are cookies or cake, you can give me any old sluice. Which leads me neatly to...

This recipe is a bastardization of one from The Borough Market Book, which is in turn a version of a recipe by Sara-Jayne Stanes, author of the promising-sounding 'Chocolate: the Definitive Guide'. Now, this tart is everything a chocolate tart should be, although those attributes may seem contradictory: crisp, smooth, sweet and sharp. Use as strong a chocolate as you prefer, but not milk chocolate. I admit that, despite my earlier witterings, I did use instant coffee just because I couldn't be bothered to brew some espresso, but as long as you have a couple of tablespoons of strong black coffee, it doesn't really matter which type it is: it's just there to give the chocolate a bit of balls (technical term).

Wooahhh Mama! Chocolate Tart 'o' Joy!

Pastry:

90g plain flour

50g cocoa powder

80g unsalted butter

30g ground almonds

60g golden caster sugar

1 large egg (free-range, natch, yet beaten)

Filling:

240g plain chocolate (I used 70% cocoa)

60g unsalted butter

3 large eggs, separarted

90g golden caster sugar

6 tablespoons double cream

2 desertspoons strong coffee

• butter and flour a suitable ovenproof dish: mine was a shallow ceramic one, measuring 7.5"x11", though my book specifies a 9" round flan tin
• first, make the pastry: in a large bowl, sieve together the flour and cocoa powder
• add the sugar, ground almonds and stir together
• cube the butter, add to the powdery mixture and rub together with fingertips only to create a chocolatey crumble
• add the beaten egg to bind it all together in a ball of doughy promise, wrap in clingfilm and pop in the fridge for 30 minutes (or 24 hrs and 30 mins in my case as I forgot I was going out...)
• on a lightly floured surface, attempt to roll out thinly to a size suitable for your dish
• attempt to hoist the rolled dough into the greased receptacle, tutting as random shapes drip off your rolling pin Dali-style before exclaiming 'Oh fuck this' and popping pieces of rolled dough into the dish, squidging the seams together until it is fully lined and respectable looking
• pop the mangled case into the fridge for another 30 mins
• preheat the oven to 200C / 400F / Gas 6
• line the case with foil, cover with baking beans or dried beans (that you are not hoping to cook later) and bake blind for 15 minutes
• remove the beans and foil and bake again for another 15 mins
• now make the filling: melt the chocolate and butter together and allow to cool
• whisk the egg whites to form soft glacial peaks
• in another bowl, whisk together the yolks and sugar until frothy
• add the double cream and coffee to the bubblesome yolks and stir gently and respectfully
• pour in the buttery chocolate and using your respectful spoon, marry it all together
• fold in the egg whites with reverance...oh  and a big metal spoon
• pour into the tart case, even out and bake for 20-25 mins 
• allow to cool and serve with cream, ice cream or a good mate and weak-ass coffee (though delicious coffee of groovy brewing would be better)

 Such was the potency of its' deliciousness, I completely forgot to take a photo of it, so you'll have to make do with this sadly executed digital scribble which, however, is a pretty accurate representation:

*dragged me, my arse: we skipped as if we were on the yellow brick road.  
 

For further caffeine inspiration, why not follow The Guardian's helpful trail, or perhaps plough your way through Time Out's comprehensive list. The fabulous Cosy Coffee Shops blog produced a top 10 in January of the UK's best coffee shops, which, Hurrah!, also includes places outside of the London sprawl. It also includes some fabulous coffee shops from around the world as they are currently 'on tour'.

Stopping to smell the coffee

After a hearty breakfast (porridge cooked with semi-skimmed + a dash of vanilla extract, throwing in some dried sweetened cranberries for the last minute, then adding sesame + pumpkin seeds, walnuts or pecans, a sprinkle of demerera and cinammon) I donned my beloved wellies and went for a much needed long walk around one of my favourite parks. I didn't take any photos as I just wanted to walk and take in what was going on around me rather than documenting it: selfish, I know. I've been to that park numerous times over the last, wowsers!, 20 years but had never strayed from the beaten path. This time I did, allowing my sturdy legs to go where they wanted. To find something new in the familiar is always a treat, perhaps a timely (for me at least) that it's not what you look at, it's how you look at it that counts. To be bored by life is, well, frankly, boring, and we should constantly be looking to see new beauty and quirkiness everywhere. (methinks the Lemsip has kicked in a little too powerfully...)

In town, I turned off from my usual automaton path, curious by a sandwich board promising 'Good Food, Good Coffee, Great Welcome', and discovered it wasn't just a hollow tagline...

 

Delicious granary toast with butter and honey: why is it that toast made by someone else always tastes better than toast you've made yourself? Please also note that here, a large latte is indeed a large latte.

 

This may well be my new favourite place. A happy, laid back atmosphere, with delicious coffee, locals popping in to pick up lunch orders - it's amazing how much gossip can be exchanged in the time it takes to buy a coffee.

I finally, after much knitting, unknitting, frustration and stubborn ignoring off, finished one fingerless glove (from this beautiful book that, however, fails to mention that stitch holders will be needed....)  

For the second glove, I snaffled a couple of stitch counters which, although they haven't exactly changed my life, have improved my knitting notation and the sanctity of my books. Such a simple idea makes a difference.

I know it's wrong, though not illegal, but I have fallen in love with yet another book on baking. Now I know I have waxed lyrically and overly flowery over many a book determined to make my upper torso akin to that of the Michelin Man (though without the searing sexual potency) but this one is just fabulous. I've already spread the gospel over on the UK Handmade blog and feel duty bound to recommend it to you, good people. All hail, 'Easy Baking' by Linda Collister!!! And just to convince you of the utter fabulosity of this epistle, here is a recipe from therein: 

 

 

Delicious and Essential Pecan Spice Bars

90g unsalted butter (at room temperature, unless the room is either a sauna or walk-in fridge)

3 tablespoons Golden Syrup

1 large egg

180g self raising flour

pinch of salt

1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon mixed ground spice

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

100g coarsely ground pecan nuts

11/2 tablespoons milk

Spicy pecan topping

2 tablespoons plain flour

1 tablespoon demerera sugar

1 tablespoon soft brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

30g unsalted butter, diced and at room temperature (see above)

40g pecan halves

• preheat the oven to 180oC / 350oF / Gas Mark 4
• line and grease a 20cm-ish square tin (or equivalent)
• in a large bowl, cream the butter, on its own, with nothing but an eager spoon to keep it company
• beat in the golden syrup then add the egg, beating it until 3 becomes one (ingredients that is)
• sift together the flour, salt and spices into the buttery melange and stir together
• add the pecans and milk and stir well
• pour this delicious cacophony of potential loveliness into the prepared tin
• now make the topping: in a clean large bowl, rub the diced butter into the flour, sugar and spices until you get clumps of dough. (I didn't achieve this: mine just turned to breadcrums, which still tasted good, but I'd like to give you something to aim for)
• stir in the pecan then scatter in a smaller scale version of a cliched farmer sowing seed in a hearty manner (this is not a crude euphemism by the way...)
• bake for 25-30 minutes until firm under your hungry touch
• allow to cool before transferring to a wire rack for further cooling opportunities
• cut into 15-ish pieces and devour at whim.

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way. x

Self-imposed craft exile...

Regular readers (although, that's an oxymoron as I do not provide enough waffle for you to digest on a regular basis: I'm only thinking of those waistlines...) may have noticed that I have been uncharacteristically quiet on all creative fronts: the shop is still there but bereft of anything new, the blog has creaked to an emollient-free stop, and Flickr, once the place for wips, cakes and inspiration is saturated, regrettably, with my face, a self-portrait on a Thursday being my only creative outburst. Unfortunately, life has got in the way and yumptatious has taken second place to, at the moment, more important shenanigans. Last (school) year was an extremely hectic one and I am determined to redress the balance, but I need your help:

I need YOU!!!

(apologies that the crazy world of foreshortening makes it look as if I am brandishing a stump where my forefinger should be: nice.)

I need you to kick my butt, (in a creative, metaphorical sense only please: I've met a number of you and reckon that you could inflict serious damage if the need arose.) I need you to throw your creative briefs at me: tell me what to write about - be my editor (I won't expect payment...yet) Would you like me to write a review (book, music, film, exhibition etc), re-write a recipe, show you how to make something, tell you a story, give my opinion on a chosen topic etc? I will then post the results over on my spanking new blog. I struggled for ages to come up with a suitable name, fearing what pondlife Google would send my way. Therefore, I have decided against:

• Please kick me up the arse

• Give it to me (and make it hard as you like)

• I need YOU to push me

• Activate my creative juices

• and, of course I need your briefs.

I have gone for an 'exactly what it says on the tin' approach: behold yumptatious waffle!
Just leave your suggestions over there and I'll get cracking.


In the meantime, a quickish precis of the last 9 months creativity:
I've learnt to knit, and, in doing so, created probably my most popular picture on Flickr (21 extremely wise people have added it to their favourites)


I bought some of the yarns seen here from Texere Yarns up in Bradford, the place that I, and the other weavers, bought the yarns for their final projects from back in 1993, so I was thrilled that they are still going. (I wonder if present textile students at Nottingham still go there...)
Ooh, speaking of my fellow weavers from back in the day, I recently got back in touch with an old chum of mine via Facebook, Sarah Allen, who happens to also have an Etsy shop! Go and behold her beautiful cloth: she's damn talented and a purchase from her will increase your lifejoy tenfold.

I made a couple of skirts, one from Clothkits and one made from a sneaky template:

The one on the right is made from upholstery fabric I picked up from my local flea market for £2. Check out my sofa's jealous demeanour (and rightly so.)
I heartily recommend Clothkits: the instructions are easy to follow and they provide everything: the lining, the zip, even the thread. The skirt I plumped for is designed by the wondrous Rob Ryan and comes in many tempting colourways.

I have, of course, been baking, thanks to this amazing book. Every recipe is a winner, although I do think using a food processor does help with the lightness of the frosting. (if anyone would like to buy me a KitchenAid, please feel free: I'm not proud.)

Pornography, pure and simple.

Here are a few of my current favourite things:


clockwise from top left:
my current read and I recommend it whole-heartedly! Funny, honest, informative and inspiring in a cheese-free kinda way. I swear I put on weight with her as she ate her way around Italy (something I would love to do!)
I can't stop playing this album! If you're a pedant, you'll be able to pick out all the 80's references, but that doesn't mean that this is yesterday's leftovers served up as retro. One of those album's that proves that decent dance music can have soul too. This brings me great joy!
Whilst I do indeed love this whisky, it's pictured here more in honour of my latest addiction, 'The Wire'. If you haven't seen it, I can only hope that the God of Karma rectifies the situation and brings you the best thing you can set your eyes on (other than kittens, cake, oh and I guess your children) in the form of the dvd boxed set. And if you don't believe me, listen to Charlie Brooker: he has no reason to lie to you (unlike me, who may at some point need you to lend me a fiver, or help lugging some furniture, or to hide a body)
Superhit jossticks: unleash your inner (or outer) hippy and make your world smell sweeter!
I love Lush products: they smell fabulous, they do a bloody good job and they do it all with a glint in their eye. I'd previously tried Liz Earle's facewash (after remortgaging the house in order to do so...) but my skin hated it. It loves Ultra Bland though, which seems to last forever! Hurrah!
Sainsbury's have introduced more coffee's into their Fairtrade range. Currently enjoying their Italian blend: very nice!



Summer has been and gone, but we managed to get away to Cornwall and had a fabulous time. I love it down there, the mix of raw, beautiful coastline and moors steeped in history and the ghosts of myths and people past. We had a surfing lesson which was a real epiphany, though not for the reasons I had hoped. I discovered that my body is every one of it 37 years: I have no physical strength, I have no flexibility and certainly no grace or elegance (but then I never had!) Ok, I've never been a completely fit person, but my body has often surprised me when called for. Not this time: it's gotten older, and is tired and needs help. At least the neoprene was forgiving! Me and the sea didn't get on too well this holiday: she chewed me up and spat me out as I tried to get over her hormonal waves. I took the hint and admired her from a distance.

I did, however, discover the coffee shop with the finest view:

Tate St Ives.

They also do a good line in sandwiches, cakes and delicious coffee, and use Cornish ingredients where possible. We weren't in the mood for the actual gallery, though I urge you to go. Whilst in St Ives, make sure you go to Barbara Hepworth's Museum + Gallery. The garden is an oasis of space and calm, away from the cramped, yet picturesque, streets. I loved her studio: you can't go in, but you can peer through the windows at a tableaux of artistic industry: it looks like she's just popped out to make herself a cuppa.
We did pop into the shop to add to our collection of joyous inspiration:

clockwise from top left:
1) go to the Eden Project
2) pass out at the wonderment
3) after seeing her lil piggies in the Mediteranean Biome, purchase this utterly inspiring book and immerse yourself in her skillz via her website.
4) thank me later

A fabulous treasure hunt book from Alice Melvin

Postcard featuring 'St Ives Harbour (All Round)' by Bryan Pearce

This book makes me want to get the pencils and oil pastels (Sennelier, natch) out STAT! I love her work oh so very very much. Please buy me some.

Postcards featuring 'Restaurant View with Leach Jug'  and 'View from Pednolver Terrace' by Rachel Nicholson



Right, I'm off to lie in a darkened room in preparation for the arrival of my muse.
Let's not leave it so long next time.
x