Just a reminder...

...that I have a poor, neglected Etsy shop, which, if memory serves, is the reason this blog came into being in the first place. If you've been here before, you'll know that my skills of marketing and self-promotion are possibly the antithesis of a certain Miss Price. However, economic necessity and burgeoning creative impetus require me to remind you that I have a delicious range of life-affirming gifts that will not only balance your chakras but put you in alignment with the whole damn universe*.
My stock needs to go because:

• they are desperate for pastures new, feeling stifled in their sumptuous box. A box full of gorgeous stuff is useless if it's contents are not used, loved or even seen: I may as well fill it with packing peanuts and shove it under the bed. (ooh, I wonder if I could do that and sell it on Etsy? strokes beard ponderously)
• we have to repair (or more accurately, replace) our leaking roof. This is another reason why I need to sell my stock: not only is a new roof stupid-expensive, we may need the box to catch rain water and it would be better if it was empty, although I'm sure in some dark, questionably-stenched cave of the t'interweb, there is a market for rain-soiled sock monkeys and the like. shudders but doesn't totally dismiss the possibilities
• I actually have some New Ideas (well, they're new to me - no doubt that once I have introduced them to the world, I will discover that I have extemporaneously plagiarised a favoured crafter, thereby consigning myself to Crafter's Hell - a cold, colourless place, bereft of forums, photos, tea and cake. Even Stephen Fry would hate me, and would encourage his Twitter army to 'go Jan Moir on her ass'.) and if I manage to keep the paranoid demons, and Stephen Fry**, at bay, it would be lovely to put them into a rejeuvenated shop - out with the old and in with the (hopefully not subconsciously ripped off) new.

Quite frankly, there's nothing like a financial emergency to really help one focus on  one's abandoned shop. Go and have a look and buy something, dammit!

Have you read the latest Xmas-tabulous edition of UK Handmade magazine yet? It's fresh off the...um...desktoppublisher thang and is just perfect, and not just because my book reviews are in there (p31-35). It has a fabulous cover featuring a beautiful wreath made by the uber talented Anna Hull of Half an Acre. and is packed with useful, inspiring and entertaining gorgeousness. And, criminally, its free. Enjoy!

Don't forget to check out the UK Handmade blog too: I've been writing the 'Lifestyle' page on Sundays, although it's more food (let's be honest here: cake.) than anything else. I like the idea of being a 'Lifestyle' writer, though I feel I should have a huge pashmina that I hide a tiny dog in and call everyone 'Dahhhhling!' and describe things as being 'De-viiine!'  and never be seen out without bright red lips, a coiffured do, a dark mist of Mandragore and an air of superiority peppered with boredom. I won't ruin the illusion by telling you that I usually write it whilst snuggled in pyjamas, unaided by tiny, or any sized, dog.

What are you up to tomorrow (Saturday)? Well, if you're not trying to feign enthusiasm about another z-list celebrity's autobankbalance autobiography whilst subtley trying to guide them to Rich Fulcher's offering, you should be at Chelsea Town Hall for the fabulous festive WeMake .

I am jealous as hell, but it is a warm, vanilla-scented jealousy as I love them to bits. Go along and pick up some beautiful treasures from a very talented bunch and give them all a kiss from me.
If you're nearer Cambridge, get thee to Handm@de. Read all about it here. If you really love craft and wanted to support these fabulous people, you could attempt to go to both in a Phil Collins-does-Live-Aid kinda way. (well, you could have done had they not scrapped Concorde..)

Have a wonderful, expensive weekend!



*not scientifically proven. Model wears lash inserts.
** I love Stephen Fry, by the way, particularly for this:

Soupy Twist!

Self-imposed craft exile...

Regular readers (although, that's an oxymoron as I do not provide enough waffle for you to digest on a regular basis: I'm only thinking of those waistlines...) may have noticed that I have been uncharacteristically quiet on all creative fronts: the shop is still there but bereft of anything new, the blog has creaked to an emollient-free stop, and Flickr, once the place for wips, cakes and inspiration is saturated, regrettably, with my face, a self-portrait on a Thursday being my only creative outburst. Unfortunately, life has got in the way and yumptatious has taken second place to, at the moment, more important shenanigans. Last (school) year was an extremely hectic one and I am determined to redress the balance, but I need your help:

I need YOU!!!

(apologies that the crazy world of foreshortening makes it look as if I am brandishing a stump where my forefinger should be: nice.)

I need you to kick my butt, (in a creative, metaphorical sense only please: I've met a number of you and reckon that you could inflict serious damage if the need arose.) I need you to throw your creative briefs at me: tell me what to write about - be my editor (I won't expect payment...yet) Would you like me to write a review (book, music, film, exhibition etc), re-write a recipe, show you how to make something, tell you a story, give my opinion on a chosen topic etc? I will then post the results over on my spanking new blog. I struggled for ages to come up with a suitable name, fearing what pondlife Google would send my way. Therefore, I have decided against:

• Please kick me up the arse

• Give it to me (and make it hard as you like)

• I need YOU to push me

• Activate my creative juices

• and, of course I need your briefs.

I have gone for an 'exactly what it says on the tin' approach: behold yumptatious waffle!
Just leave your suggestions over there and I'll get cracking.


In the meantime, a quickish precis of the last 9 months creativity:
I've learnt to knit, and, in doing so, created probably my most popular picture on Flickr (21 extremely wise people have added it to their favourites)


I bought some of the yarns seen here from Texere Yarns up in Bradford, the place that I, and the other weavers, bought the yarns for their final projects from back in 1993, so I was thrilled that they are still going. (I wonder if present textile students at Nottingham still go there...)
Ooh, speaking of my fellow weavers from back in the day, I recently got back in touch with an old chum of mine via Facebook, Sarah Allen, who happens to also have an Etsy shop! Go and behold her beautiful cloth: she's damn talented and a purchase from her will increase your lifejoy tenfold.

I made a couple of skirts, one from Clothkits and one made from a sneaky template:

The one on the right is made from upholstery fabric I picked up from my local flea market for £2. Check out my sofa's jealous demeanour (and rightly so.)
I heartily recommend Clothkits: the instructions are easy to follow and they provide everything: the lining, the zip, even the thread. The skirt I plumped for is designed by the wondrous Rob Ryan and comes in many tempting colourways.

I have, of course, been baking, thanks to this amazing book. Every recipe is a winner, although I do think using a food processor does help with the lightness of the frosting. (if anyone would like to buy me a KitchenAid, please feel free: I'm not proud.)

Pornography, pure and simple.

Here are a few of my current favourite things:


clockwise from top left:
my current read and I recommend it whole-heartedly! Funny, honest, informative and inspiring in a cheese-free kinda way. I swear I put on weight with her as she ate her way around Italy (something I would love to do!)
I can't stop playing this album! If you're a pedant, you'll be able to pick out all the 80's references, but that doesn't mean that this is yesterday's leftovers served up as retro. One of those album's that proves that decent dance music can have soul too. This brings me great joy!
Whilst I do indeed love this whisky, it's pictured here more in honour of my latest addiction, 'The Wire'. If you haven't seen it, I can only hope that the God of Karma rectifies the situation and brings you the best thing you can set your eyes on (other than kittens, cake, oh and I guess your children) in the form of the dvd boxed set. And if you don't believe me, listen to Charlie Brooker: he has no reason to lie to you (unlike me, who may at some point need you to lend me a fiver, or help lugging some furniture, or to hide a body)
Superhit jossticks: unleash your inner (or outer) hippy and make your world smell sweeter!
I love Lush products: they smell fabulous, they do a bloody good job and they do it all with a glint in their eye. I'd previously tried Liz Earle's facewash (after remortgaging the house in order to do so...) but my skin hated it. It loves Ultra Bland though, which seems to last forever! Hurrah!
Sainsbury's have introduced more coffee's into their Fairtrade range. Currently enjoying their Italian blend: very nice!



Summer has been and gone, but we managed to get away to Cornwall and had a fabulous time. I love it down there, the mix of raw, beautiful coastline and moors steeped in history and the ghosts of myths and people past. We had a surfing lesson which was a real epiphany, though not for the reasons I had hoped. I discovered that my body is every one of it 37 years: I have no physical strength, I have no flexibility and certainly no grace or elegance (but then I never had!) Ok, I've never been a completely fit person, but my body has often surprised me when called for. Not this time: it's gotten older, and is tired and needs help. At least the neoprene was forgiving! Me and the sea didn't get on too well this holiday: she chewed me up and spat me out as I tried to get over her hormonal waves. I took the hint and admired her from a distance.

I did, however, discover the coffee shop with the finest view:

Tate St Ives.

They also do a good line in sandwiches, cakes and delicious coffee, and use Cornish ingredients where possible. We weren't in the mood for the actual gallery, though I urge you to go. Whilst in St Ives, make sure you go to Barbara Hepworth's Museum + Gallery. The garden is an oasis of space and calm, away from the cramped, yet picturesque, streets. I loved her studio: you can't go in, but you can peer through the windows at a tableaux of artistic industry: it looks like she's just popped out to make herself a cuppa.
We did pop into the shop to add to our collection of joyous inspiration:

clockwise from top left:
1) go to the Eden Project
2) pass out at the wonderment
3) after seeing her lil piggies in the Mediteranean Biome, purchase this utterly inspiring book and immerse yourself in her skillz via her website.
4) thank me later

A fabulous treasure hunt book from Alice Melvin

Postcard featuring 'St Ives Harbour (All Round)' by Bryan Pearce

This book makes me want to get the pencils and oil pastels (Sennelier, natch) out STAT! I love her work oh so very very much. Please buy me some.

Postcards featuring 'Restaurant View with Leach Jug'  and 'View from Pednolver Terrace' by Rachel Nicholson



Right, I'm off to lie in a darkened room in preparation for the arrival of my muse.
Let's not leave it so long next time.
x

Meet my monkeys!

Firstly, may I wish you all a very Happy New Year! How was it for you? Were you nestled under a hand-crocheted bedspread, sipping home-made sloe gin whilst tucking into home-made cake, snuggled up to your beautiful man (bedecked of hand-knitted jumper and needle-felted beard) and noticing how beautiful the stars twinkled onto the years first frost, wishing you had a macro lense powerful enough to capture such ephemeral beauty? Or were you dredging the abandoned glasses of a group of people who apparently are interesting, according to your now ex-friend, yet only succeeded in making you feel insignificant, thereby necessitating the need to get as drunk as humanly possible and thereby creating the table-dancing, bra-revealing snog-monster you ultimately morphed into?
I spent it with the in-laws near Penzance, drinking Guinness and arguing the importance of The Ting Tings whilst watching Jools' 'Hootenanny'. Its all good.

Anyhoots, at long last, I've listed the monkeys I made aeons ago, and took to Wemake (then brought home again...) I wanted to share my descriptions with you: I went off on lyrical flights of fancy. Ho hum: marketing is definitely not my strong point...
I still have Alan to list, but I'll post when he's on Etsy.

Meet Bunty!

Bunty has been a teacher of PE for 10 years at a well-respected girls school, just north of West Chesterfordingshire. Her vociferous opinions on subjects such as the wearing of earrings during lessons and dealing with period pain by getting the affected girl to run around a field has endeared her to the weaker-willed members of the staffing body, whilst causing much consternation in her young charges.

Bunty is ready for a new challenge, and, considering her victory at last years 'West Chesterfordingshire Orienteering Jamboree', soundly trouncing favourite Ernie Ernster into an uneventful 3rd place, she's not wrong.
Can you provide Bunty with the thrills and fresh air she so brazenly craves?



Meet Elspeth!

Elspeth was a model back in the 70's. She was a muse to such fashion luminaries as Ossie Clark and, later, Zandra Rhodes. A life of glamour, socialising, ill-advised tanning and string bikinis encapsulated our monkey friend, but that was all to shatter around her, when (in a similar fashion to the tv dropped from the window of the 2rd floor hotel apartment by her good friend, the late Keith Moon) she ruptured her tail during an exuberant round of Canasta.

Years of therapy followed, often punctuated by bouts of drink and drug abuse until, in the spring of 1989, she found herself in the doorway of master baker, Dave Inkles, and a love of creating yeast-engorged produce ensued.
Known for her fine cakes, crisp biscuits and majesterial scarf-wearing, Elspeth has risen to be a national treasure. Indeed, her programme, 'The Sound of Whisk on Egg' was voted 'Most Important Food-Based Programme' at last years Baftas.

Elspeth needs a new kitchen with live-in quarters:
Can you provide her with the bowls, whisks, vanilla, yeast and love she needs as she careers out of middle age? In return, she will regale you with stories of infinite glamour, plus tips on how to stop your custard from curdling.

So: what do you think?

Stuff and nonsense

First things first: this Sunday, the 22nd June, a group of fabulously talented makers are getting together near Convent Garden to unleash their creative produce to the world. Its called WeMake, and you need to be there, armed with money and hungry for gorgeousness. You can find out about it on their blog here.
I'm going up to support rather than have a stall. If you see me, do come and say hello and drag me for coffee and cake, not that I'll need much persuading if there are refreshments involved.

Speaking of cake, I've been a bit of a Domestic Goddess recently, if I do say so myself, thanks largely to this fantabulous cookbook. Here's an example of the joy that book can bring:

the ones with purple splodges are cherry (use frozen cherries for ease and welcoming moistness), yogurt and oat and the others are spiced apple and walnut.

The book is wondrous: the recipes are easy to follow, the combinations of flavours are tasty and not outlandish and the results are consistent. Its the kind of book people buy firstly for themselves, and then come back and buy many for friends and family. Its so good, my best mate KT had it sent over from Hastings to her new home in New Zealand as she missed it so.

On the crafting front, sometimes it pays to rethink and re-do a project. I had made some fabric hearts, stuffed with polyfil, as general decorative fripperies. They sat, unloved in my shop, until I suddenly saw the obvious need and re-stuffed them with some calming lavender. I very quickly sold two! Hurrah! I have some more: you need them, your socks need them, let alone your pants. They're in the shop now! (I keep them in a tupperware-style box, determined to keep the freshness in) They're kinda cute, just this side of Cath Kidston, and quite normal for me!



I was recently commissioned by a chum at work to make something for his girlfriend's birthday. She loves lemurs and he wanted to give her a pouch (zip up purse / make-up / oddment bag) that lovingly empathised with her love of this Madagascan inhabitant.
So, after some preliminary sketches


I came up with this:


He loved it but more importantly, so did she. Even more importantly, it started a chain reaction which linked in with some ideas I'd had in my sketchbook:


and these lead to the creation of these beauties:

top left (sold): "aint nowt wrong with my girlie crap", top right: "aint nowt wrong with loving cake", bottom left: "tea, coffee, wine and beer - its all good" and bottom right: "aint nowt wrong with loving a chicken"

All this creativity needs replenishing, and at times like this, despite her teeth-itching (cheers Maose for that phrase!) tv performances, Nigella shines through. I adapted her recipe for 'Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake', found in the 'Chocolate Hall of Fame' to be found in the beautiful 'Feast'. She suggests '175g best quality dark chocolate', I suggest Lidl's milk chocolate, 29p for 100g.

Its all good.

Quick round up of my recent reads:

Alice Hoffman 'The Third Angel'. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. We start off with one character, then layers are peeled back to reveal a complex story of intertwining characters, linked in ways that none of them are aware of. The characters on the periphery are far more absorbing than the perceived central character, but discovering the warp and weft (eeh! That textile degree wasn't a waste, Mum!) of their stories is ultimately very satisfying. The settings, both physical and in time, are beautifully evocative, but then I'm a sucker for anything set in the 50's and 60's: if its well written, I see it in black and white, in a cloud of innocence and cigarette smoke. I'd love to know what you think.

Nora Ephron 'I Feel Bad About My Neck'. I would recommend this for any woman over 30, and certainly for women over 50. As a 36 year old woman, I want to know that there is life, and it is fun, and it is positive, as I get older. Would-be role models fall prey to plastic surgery and the ridiculous concept that a youthful face is wrinkle free and immobile. As the mother of a rather beautiful teenager, let me remind you that a youthful face is incredibly animated and full of wonder, however much they try and mask it with an air of boredom and cynicism- wrinkles make not a jot of difference. Any hoots, this is a smart, sassy perceptive and honest read, as you'd expect from the writer of 'When Harry met Sally'. It oozes positivity, not in a hippy drippy Louise L Hay kind-of-a-way, but in a beautiful, down-to-earth way. If you've ever had ovaries, or you've ever met someone who has, read it.

Meg Wolitzer 'The Ten Year Nap'. I loved this book deeply. Certain lines in this book were written just for me and me alone I am sure. The woman has opened up my brain, assessed how I feel about being a woman, wife, mother, human, and peppered her story with nuggets of wisdom to remind me that I'm doing ok and that I should stop beating myself up all the time for not being all that I should be. If you're a mother, read this. If you think that one day, you'll have children, read this, because anyone who tells you your life won't change when you have children is lying! The story centres around one character, Amy, then pans out to encompass all her friends. Each has a different take on the notion of motherhood and how it has affected them. I love the idea of 'The Ten-Year Nap': women all over the world are suddenly woken up by the growing independence of their offspring, revealing the woman that was there before ante-natal checks, urine samples and more internal examinations than are strictly necessary: 'Oh shit! I'm still here: a whole lot wider, a little wiser, but I still have my sense of humour and, despite an appalling recall for names, my brain still seems to be working...So what now?!'

On a completely different tangent, I'm currently reading George Melly's autobiographical trilogy and also this anthology of Dave Allen, and am thoroughly enjoying them both. (you can 'hear' them narrate: it is impossible to read without hearing their particular vocal inflections.) I'll let you know how me and the boys get on!


PS: thanks, hugs and the promise of cake to Bee and Maose for their nagging: I'll try and blog more, but, if you enjoy the read, feel free to nag more! :-)

Captain Sporadic strikes again!

As the sun lowers in the sky, creating sharp shadows behind everything it strikes, I have finally got around to bringing you my latest round of procrastinating gubbins (because, surely it would be better if I just got on with stuff than merely document it?...)
Since I last posted, I have been making and doing. The beautiful Nicky commissioned 2 pinnies for 2 equally creative chums. They had loved the 'utility pinny' I had made Nicky for her birthday so hopefully they'll be chuffed with their own. The pinnies are lined and the pockets are lined and large to make them hardwearing. The three of them work in films and theatre, making costumes and props and so need to carry a whole heap of useful stuff about. I made three to give Nicky the choice and so have one spare: I should re-do the photos and thwack it on Etsy.

Wotcha think?

one size fits all

I also made my boy wonder his own apron:

It won't stay this clean for long

I made some 'variations on a theme' felt flower badges:

...some bags (available for your purchasing pleasure over in my shop)



And after a bloody decent haircut, committed potential hair suicide all in the name of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' and its midnight release. (I'm not even a full time bookslave: I work every Saturday and one Sunday a month.)















From this (its flat cos its clean + fluffy) via this















to 'oh! I look ok!'



Ladies and Gents: may I present Tonks.

I was put in charge of keeping the crowd entertained: I hate being asked to do that, and it is always me that's asked, just 'cos I'm a gobshite. Apparently, Alan Rickman was in the queue but luckily for him, I didn't see him. It took ages for me to realise why he didn't want to be spotted: being a fan of the books, I find the films annoying (admittedly, I've only seen the first 2. I will see the others, if only because I love Michael Gambon, and I think Gary Oldman would make a fab Sirius) and so my initial thought on Mr Rickman was 'Hans Gruber was here?!'
Still: how cool is that, having Snape at your shop?!
If you haven't read 'The Deathly Hallows': WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!?!!! (and don't give me any of this crap about it being a children's book: a good tale is a good tale)

I'm hoping to re-launch yumptatious soon and have been busy working on different ideas by actually using my sketchbook (shocking).



Etsy isn't going all that brilliantly (1 whole item sold. Better than nowt...) but I think, to be honest, I haven't put as much of my own ideas into my work as I should: they need to be a bit more personal, a bit more me. I was pleased with these purses and am going to carry on with this applique style

get them while they're hot here

One of my Flickr groups is Crafting 365, run by the fabulous Lupin, the idea being that you have to post evidence of your crafting shenanigans every day. I thought it would be a good idea, to keep me going, but I am Captain Sporadic, so it can be a bit hit and miss. Its like working to get your homework in on time!

I'm busy getting stock ready for Christmas so its sock monkey a-go-go here. Nige is going to show me how the heckadoodle to use Photoshop once and for all and then I can make the things of loveliness I've been hankering to do for an age. I will try not to rip his head off in frustration.

I think you're now up to speed: any questions at the back?

Now playing: Gomez - Blue Moon Rising
via FoxyTunes